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5 cheeky ways to keep the passion alive after you say “I do”

In the build up to the big day it’s easy to get lost in the busy-ness and forget to spend passionate moments with your betrothed.

But once the final champagne bottle is popped and the wedding dress is packed away, that’s when your love story really begins.

Whether your sex journey with your partner is new or you both know each other’s body like it’s your own, you need to prepare for a wonderful life of togetherness ahead and that means keeping the spark alive.

But one thing we have in common is that organisms have a tonne of benefits including releasing dopamine and serotonin shown to elevate wellbeing and bolster better health. 

1. Talk dirty

Seduction can occur even when you’re not in the same room or city or (whenever that happens), country. While we’re all Zoomed out after lockdowns, there is still plenty to do to start the juices flowing. 

Dating coach Damona Hoffman swears by the good old fashioned phone call, talking to each other uninterrupted without the dirty laundry messing up the background. 

Using the distance of the phone can also be the perfect time to share sexual fantasies and get your sexy on.

Sex therapist and assistant professor of Psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine Kimberly Resnick Anderson says it’s important to remind each other that you’re sexual beings each with your own erotic interests.

“Simply talk about what turns you on,” she says. “It can be extremely powerful and exciting to disclose aspects of your private sexual fantasies with a partner. Trusting your partner with such intimate material can foster not only comfort and a sense of safety, but also erotic energy.”

A tried and true method to start the arousal early is to tell your partner in words or even messages exactly what you’ll do to them when you see them next. Science backs up this kind of activity. Research in Medical Daily states that dirty talk stimulates the part of our brain that is responsible for pleasure, the amygdala. 

Dirty talk can also make you feel empowered and confident, two amazing ingredients for a fulfilling sex life.

2. Practice the art of seduction

Founder of 33 Thousand Dates and dating coach Andrea McGinty says if you know you’re spending time apart, the old fashioned art of letter writing can build up anticipation, and it’s worked for one of her clients.

“She drafts handwritten letters on beautiful stationery and scents with seductive fragrances. The letters can take up to 10 days to arrive and so the arrival is a fun surprise and builds a fun layer of seductive excitement into their relationship.”

When you’re in the same city turning, everyday activities can turn into seductive playtime.

Something as simple as making dinner can be flirtatious, and surely trying new things is the best part of being in the honeymoon phase. Try cooking dinner wearing sexy lingerie, or sending a cheeky photo throughout the day while doing simple tasks. A knicker flash in the car, a peep of bra lace at your desk. 

The more you explore your own sexiness the more you’ll increase the sense of your own sex appeal, and there is nothing more sexy. You’re guaranteed that little snap will be rewarded with a happy emoji or ten back and make you feel like the alluring temptress you are.

3. Pucker up, baby

If your fiancé is a man it’s almost guaranteed he loves lips. A 2010 study from Manchester University discovered men found the most attractive part of a woman’s face to be her lips.

Researchers found that in the first ten seconds of talking to a woman, half of that time is spent gazing at her lips. To make that pout even more enticing, the scientists found that lipstick held his gaze longer.

Pink lipstick held his attention for 6.7 seconds of the total 10 seconds, and red lipstick a staggering 7.3 seconds, that’s nearly 75% of the time. 

Even thin lips increased visual apparel by more than 40 percent when wearing lipstick.

Dr Geoff Beattie, who led the research, summarised saying the study proves that lips represent one of the most sensual aspects of a woman’s body and play a critical role in human sexual attraction. 

“Full and red lips combined deliver the perfect pout to achieve male fixation, but women who simply wear lipstick – regardless of their lip type – secure significantly greater levels of attraction than those who do not.

“For centuries, women have painted their lips red to enhance their appeal, with this practice dating back as far as the Ancient Egyptians who commonly used red lipstick and rouge to enhance their attractiveness.

“Our research suggests that red lips and perceived attractiveness are still inextricably linked, with red lipstick proving to be the most powerful attractor and significantly increasing visual fixation.”

Here at Paper + Lace we love Karen Murrell lipsticks which contain the naturally lip plumping  ingredient cinnamon. Her formulations are 100 percent pure, natural and nourishing with a professional finish that last on the lips. Delicious ingredients include avocado and evening primrose oils, candelilla, carnauba wax, and sweet orange. 

And for a seductive red lip that can’t be beaten (we swear by it and it says it all in the name!), Karen Murrell True Love is sure to make that pout kissalicious!

4. Low libido? Take up Zumba

Sex coach Teddy Curle says when it comes to relationships and passion everyone is different and experiencing low libido is not only normal but it can be transformed through taking a holistic approach.

“A very common thing I deal with is low sexual desire, particularly for women,” she says. “So I might refer them to a dance class, pole fitness, belly dancing, Zumba, yoga, anything that gets them grounded in their body. It also helps with physical fitness, and health does impact your sexuality and how your body responds.” 

Curle suggests that if libido is low when typically it’s high, that it’s worth taking a look at the overall health picture.

“You may need to see a pelvic floor specialist, or urologist, or go to a good massage therapist to get back in touch with pleasant bodily sensations. Or a dietary change may be needed so you may need to see a nutritionist.”

5. Toys are not just for kids

In their book D.Vice Advice: Sex Q&A for Grownups, authors, D.VICE store owners and creators of innovative, safe sex toys, Ema Lyon and Wendy Lee answer popularly asked questions. 

They say in any relationship “sex can easy go from sublime to routine, from exciting to predictable” and one way to transform the experience is by introducing thrilling new experiences is by using toys to make us “giggle and gasp”.

“Whether it is because a vibrator can simulate us in a different and intensely pleasurable way, or because  it is something new and you are both curious, a vibrator can be fun and stimulating to introduce into your lovemaking,” says the duo.

They say a vibrator will speed up the arousal process for many women, adding that clitoral stimulation is often required for a woman to orgasm. 

“Sex toys can introduce a new element to remind us of what fun sex can be and the intimacy of sex can strengthen our relationship bonds.”

It’s guaranteed to get you both racing home at the end of the day and ripping each other’s clothes off before you say hello.

Whatever lies ahead for you and your partner, at least one of these cheeky tips will guarantee a delicious loving moment together.

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